In the last four weeks, I have talked about the boyfriend-girlfriend thingy. I think it is good to take a detour and talk about what women find attractive in men- because it is not only men that find women attractive. This article is based on a recently conducted opinion poll. Enjoy it!
Women are drawn to men with passion in their lives. Too many people are content to simply exist, following a routine of “wake up, eat, work, eat, sleep, and repeat” day in and day out; living out “lives of quiet desperation”. People with passion in their lives are driven. They don’t just meander or float through life, they have purpose. They have something they live for, something they care about with an intensity that you just don’t see often. There’s a part of their life that brings them fulfillment, which pushes them on and inspires them.
People who have passion are interesting. They have a certainty and assuredness about them because they love what they’re passionate about whole-heartedly and don’t worry about “maybe I shouldn’t get this excited over my favorite bands” or “maybe I should act my age instead of waxing rhapsodic about the power that books have over me”
Even if it’s not a passion that they both share, when someone is passionate about something and knows how to express that passion in a clear and attractive manner, it’s very hard not to get caught up in their enthusiasm and carried along by it.
Confidence is the #2 cliché of what women find attractive in men. Even so, the fact that it’s included in the list almost reflexively does not in any way diminish the fact that confidence is a universally attractive trait. The problem is how many men seem to mistake arrogance or obliviousness for confidence. The so-called “alpha” behavior that men often mistake for confidence tends to be selfishness and a lack of respect for others, not the knowledge of one’s own abilities and value.
Confidence is, ultimately a belief in oneself; the knowing what you’re worth and what you’re capable of even in the face of people who belittle or demean you. It’s knowing that you are equal to the trial at hand and the correctness of one’s path. Someone who is confident is tempered by self-awareness and humility; it’s less of the idea that you can’t fail but the knowledge that you can succeed if you work hard.
A confident person knows what he’s worth and is willing to work to get what he’s worth rather than to assume that he just deserves it by virtue of existing. A confident person doesn’t cringe or whine at the first sign of trouble; they grit their teeth and push through it. A confident person in a relationship doesn’t let his partner walk all over him or expect her to be a substitute mother, telling him what to do and how to do it.
True confidence – that feeling of certainty and potential that comes with knowing to your core who you are and what you’re worth – is magnetic.
A lack of respect for women tends to manifest itself in any number of ways; the man in question may refuse to respect her boundaries or dismiss or diminish her concerns as “unimportant” or “being too sensitive”. They tend to assume that women come from a position of inferiority or inexperience. They presume that women are somehow the Other, rather than just being people with different sets of genitalia.
By showing a lack of respect for women, they’re sending the message of “I don’t see you as an equal,” – a critical flaw in a relationship.
After thousands of generations, we’re starting to creep our way ever so slowly towards social equality and the social resistance to that change still endures. It can be intimidating to men; after all, the default definition of masculinity has been the patriarch, so what does it mean to be a man if suddenly we’re not the ones in charge of everything anymore? A man who truly respects women is someone secure enough on his masculinity to realize that equality isn’t a zero-sum game and is looking for a partner through life, not a subordinate.
This article is an excerpt from a website and will be concluded next week. However, please feel free to express your opinions in the comment box below.