These pick-up lines

Dear Ladies, you have absolutely no idea what it takes to be a man, so please don’t be so quick to judge us. There are so many things we grapple with as men. As society has deemed fit, the onus lies on us (especially in our dark-skinned dominated part of the world) to make the first advance at any lady that sends pleasure triggers to our brain cells and make our heart go ‘gboin-gboin’ (heartbeat). Motive? I really don’t want us to bite into that topic right now, knowing fully well that a lot of brothers might have wronged a good number of you in that regard and I didn’t come prepared to put up a solid defense. We can do that later. Thanks!

With that out of the way, let’s review the methods we employ when the need arises to make an advance towards that pretty lady. The truth of the matter is that a lot of ladies scare the living daylight out of men and make it really difficult for a brother to say a word as simple and harmless as ‘Hi’. I’m talking about the kind of look that can make a minister forget his sermon lines! Sister, cool temper! Life is not that hard. At the end of the day, the choice remains yours to make; you can vote ‘yay’ or ‘nay’. No be by force, abi?

Guys often rely heavily on pick-up lines to break through the well-fortified, bokoharam-resistant defense line most ladies have built for themselves. Ladies argue that they do this to separate shaft from the seed; I say it crushes the SEED that you are even looking for. So the pickup line used has to be very sharp, well-articulated and too inviting to resist. Tough one!

This is what separates the boys from the men in the ‘favor’ market of the female world. This means there are good lines and there are wacky lines and every woman can easily give you a quick rundown of both sides from memory without batting an eye.

Before we begin to share our various experiences, let me tell you about one I heard very recently. A lady told me about one of the lamest pickup line a guy once used on her. I wasn’t there but I imagine it played out like this:

GUY: “Never mind, but May I know your name?”

GIRL: “Never mind!”

GUY: O_O

How can you start a statement with “Never mind” and then go ahead to make a request? It’s like aborting a baby before conception! Who does that? That line might have worked for a certain class of ladies that might not even spot the error, but you’ll be sorry you made that statement with some other kinds of ladies. While ladies need to work on making themselves more approachable, guys too need to work on their self-confidence and brush up their pickup lines to get the cream of the pack and graduate from being a bachelor to a happily married man.

So let’s have some humor here. What’s the worst pickup line you have used or heard? Please share in the comment box below.

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