Confessions of a Preacher – How I overcame Pornography and Masturbation

 

Pornography and masturbation are two interrelated evils that have confronted both the young and old in the 21st century. Never has it been easier to be involved with these two evils than it is now even as a professing Christian. One hardly exists without the other. It seems like the purpose of one serves the other. They were designed to create an endless cycle of guilt, condemnation and shame in the lives of anyone involved in the practice. Anyone who wants to break free from this orbit requires a burst of energy to give him/her a quantum leap.

The statistics of those that are involved in the practice is staggering even among the older and married people. The stories shared under this category are real. People like you and I have faced these evils and have successfully overcome them or at least are in the process.

In case you find yourself judging those involved in the practice, think again about the words of Jesus-“anyone who has never sinned should throw the first stone”. A preacher once said if all we ever thought about (or are thinking about) is projected on a screen, even the best of us will be ashamed. We all need help in different areas of our lives and for those who are involved in this practice, there is help for you.

images1YEXYX82This is the edited story of a preacher who was a victim of the sinful act of porn and masturbation but is now a completely free person. He shares on the steps he took towards freedom after the story below:

 I used to be overpowered by masturbation. It was pretty much an addiction. I did this with lustful thoughts that I received from reading and watching porn and for self gratification. At times, it was due to overwhelming sexual desires. Medically, I was told it is safe and ok to masturbate partly because there are no risks for STDs, etc. Another friend said it is ok to masturbate as long as there are no sexual thoughts or lust involved – I still don’t know how he does that because I discovered I needed a cycle of lustful thoughts in order to masturbate. I hope everyone in my shoes would agree that just one lustful thought was enough to make you fall and start the whole cycle of masturbating. I would masturbate so much even when my genitals hurt as a result of the bruises. The time it took me to ejaculate gradually reduced from hours to a few minutes. I masturbated everywhere and anywhere I am alone even in the restroom. It grew so bad that I knew I needed help because it affected my creativity and I dreaded the effects it would have on my marriage later.

The society said that it was ok but it was so obvious to me that, spiritually, it was not. If it was spiritually alright, why then was it ruining my relationship with God? If doing it was sweet and ok, why then did I always feel so far away from God after the act? I would feel so ashamed and barely prayed during those periods. I would feel I could not enter into the presence of God. I truly felt like He was displeased. I would ask God for forgiveness and He would forgive me, but then after doing it again, I would just have the same crappy feeling.

Later in my life, I came to a point where all I could do was to surrender totally to God. I rededicated my life to Jesus and began listening to a minister’s audio tapes of the Word of God almost every night – the night was when I was more prone to falling prey. I spent time listening to the Word of God and I surrounded myself with the Word daily. My mind was being filled with thoughts of the Word. There was simply no room for gratifying my sexual desires. It was no longer ‘how can I abstain from sexual desires?’ it became ‘what can I do to please the Lord?’ The difference between these questions is that the latter focuses on the Lord while the former focuses on self.

Do not get me wrong, I still err. I am still tempted, but Jesus saved me. You see, it is all in the mind. What fills your thoughts? Spend your energy and thoughts on serving the Lord! If you fill your mind with holy thoughts – thoughts of the Lord, holy actions will follow.

In a few simple steps, these were the things he did.

  1. I surrendered my life to Jesus – by that I mean I became born again because I realized that is the foundation for getting God involved in my dire situation.
  2. The Word of God became my companion both in audio and text format. God’s word showed me who I am and that gave me victory over my past errors and empowered me with grace to face the future.  I always take a daily bath in the word to stay motivated by confessing it out loud and clear. Whenever I need to cast down imaginations, I use my authority as a believer over the addictions. Bible verses like Ps. 119:9-11, Romans 5:5, 1Cor.10:13, Romans 8:1-3.
  3. I started an intentional mind renewal journey with the following understanding(4-8);
  4. My victory over pornography and masturbation requires a process that will take time because I did not enter into it overnight.
  5. My mind is my most important sex organ – if it does not happen in my mind, it will not happen in my life.
  6. Whatever I do not want to grow, I have to starve intentionally – pornography and masturbation don’t grow unless they are fed.
  7. I needed to cut off my masturbation fuels and food – this was and still is one of the most difficult tasks I have ever carried out in my life. I had to cut off movies, novels, unwarranted internet visits, friends who engage me in it and even music. One lesson I learnt during this period is that nature abhors a vacuum. Every time I refused to feed my addictions and I don’t replace those moments with reading the bible, listening to a message or reading healthy materials, the addictions seemed to multiply in strength. This made me agree with the saying “nothing goes for nothing”.
  8. I needed accountability partners in the form of a mentor, a fellow comrade and a protégé. My mentor prayed for, instructed and scolded me when I erred during my recovery process. My comrade both empathized and talked sense into me whenever he got my calls, pings or messages especially at odd hours . He knew what I meant whenever I said I was feeling overwhelmed. He was a shoulder to lean on, and his house was where to run to. We played together. We prayed together. He always made light the burden, he is a friend. The protégé was to keep me under check. I always imagined the shame of telling him I yielded to my addictions. Interestingly, it worked because I couldn’t just imagine letting him down and being a stumbling block to a younger believer.
  9. I must admit that staying clear of online pornography both soft and hard core was and is extremely difficult because I have to be on the internet almost all day. One of the things I did (and still do) is that I pray in the spirit a lot under my breath whether I am on my PC or mobile device while I endeavor to actively engage my mind on the task at hand. I observed that all I needed to do was nip the process in the bud – by that I mean to quickly disengage and disentangle the sequence of thoughts running through my mind and creating hormonal disturbances.
  10. Like Paul said, I don’t count myself to have apprehended but there is one thing – I keep on forgetting the things that are behind me and looked at the things before me. I believe dealing with pornography and masturbation for me is a lifelong assignment because the bible said that the devil left Jesus for a season after the temptation. As a result I keep my guard up at all times. Anything that has an appearance of evil, though it isn’t, makes me take to my heels.

As a result of these steps, he has been free from these addictions for a couple of years and he is thankful to God for delivering him and strengthening his heart to share how he overcame pornography and masturbation with you. He has this to say:

“On a final note, my candid advice for anyone is to reach out for help so you won’t die in silence. This forum www.theinspiredmen.org is one of such platforms through which you can be personally and remotely held by hand until you can also stand tall to share your victory experience with thousands of others. Everyone’s information is treated with utmost confidentiality. Please feel free to contact them through the ‘contact us’ page or send a mail to inspiredmenministries@gmail.com or call +2347014805236.”

 

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