BOY MEETS GIRL
Over the years, I have watched with a keen sense of interest how human beings relate with one another. I have concluded that we are social beings who need one another to thrive and survive. Every day, we relate with people – at work, in school, in malls, markets, airports etc. One of such type of relationships that has always caught my interest is the boy-girl relationships. By that, I mean the boyfriend-girlfriend thingy. While various schools of ideologies exist concerning the when, where, why and how the entire episode should play, one thing that is common to all is the fact that the desire to be in the company of or accepted by the opposite sex is natural. Sometimes, I humorously tell my teenage and unmarried friends that the absence of such desire indicates the presence of a more serious problem. However, I tell them that their ability to control such desire is what tells their level of maturity. Preachers of sexual abstinence for singles emphasize such in order to make them exercise the power of choice and control resident within them. This is because God’s commands are never to burden us; rather they are to beautify our lives.
Back to my thought on the boyfriend-girlfriend episode; I stated earlier that it is important to admit that the desire is natural and not necessarily sinful. The how, when and why are the variables that are user-defined and user-specific. What I intend to show you in this piece are a few of the constants when it comes to this drama we are talking about. One of such constants is the practice of being responsible. It breaks my heart to see a young single man whose regular action and attitude shows that he has a very low sense of responsibility. The disciplines you impose on yourself as a young man or woman will pay huge dividends when you get married. Instead of looking for someone to transfer your liabilities to, why don’t you work on being an asset yourself? I can readily tell a man with a poor sense of responsibility by the way he handles his time, energy and resources both material and non-material. How can you earn a ten and spend a ten as a single man? How can you hardly ever keep your words and commitments? Why are you always at loggerheads with the opposite sex either at work or amongst your siblings? How come you always cannot pick up a task without being told? If you always look forward to having sex with anything in skirt, then you are irresponsible. This art of practicing to be responsible must be developed if the boyfriend-girlfriend episode will be worth it. This is also because being married does not make you happy neither does it guarantee you eternal bliss. Rather, being married only amplifies who you are as a single. As a result, it makes sense to work on yourself while you are single, especially if you really love the person you are planning to get married to. For men, practicing being responsible goes as far as learning how to do a few house chores and cooking. Yes! I said cooking! (To jog your memory, how else could Jacob have gotten the birthright if he did not learn to cook?). For women, practicing being responsible goes as far as learning how to pay a few bills in your father’s house. Whatever happens, know that marriage is more beautiful for those that are better prepared for it. I told my wife before we got married “I don’t expect you to make me happy; I only want you to add to my happiness because I am happy as a single.” Till date, that is what she’s been doing.
Next week, I will take these thoughts further with you.